Monday, December 10, 2012

A small act of kindness

A small act of kindness can save a life. A small act of kindness can have a huge positive impact. A small act in the form of sharing. Not the sharing of your feelings and thoughts for everyone to see, but the sharing of the feelings and thoughts of someone who has already made up their mind to open up their world for everyone and anyone to see. Please share my blog.

I’ll be honest, I’m very disappointed to see the difficulty so many of my family members, friends, and other supporters have with sharing my blog. I’m having a hard time putting myself in these people’s shoes in order to understand their difficulty (feel free to message me and explain your difficulty).

It seems that most people aren’t able to, so freely, open themselves up like I do, and share their feelings and thoughts with the world. I don’t expect people to share like I do. I understand it is hard, yet I’m struggling to understand why it is hard to share a link to my blog, especially when I’ve said what a huge energy boost I get when people share my blog.

I cannot see who reads my blog, but I do see the number of visits, the number of people who stop by my blog to read what I say, and it’s a wonderful feeling to know that people are reading. It might not mean much to other people, but to me it means a lot. Every single visit cheers me up. Every single visit adds gas to my tank, and helps me keep on going. It helps me keep fighting my battle against cancer. It is another way for me to see that people care, that people are in the stands cheering for me to win.

I can only assume some of the thoughts people are having, thoughts that are preventing them from sharing. Maybe they are thinking something like “I rarely go on Facebook,” “I never respond to anything,” or “it’s not just you, I never share anything anyone posts.”

Ok, but here I am being open and honest with you. Telling you what this simple act of sharing can do. What a huge impact it can have on my life. Every time you share you are filling up my gas tank, my energy (which is running very low) to continue fighting. It is a simple act of kindness with powerful consequences.

I’m not asking you to share your thoughts. I know it hard for many people if not most people. You don’t have to say anything. Just share a link. Don’t over think it. It’s not stupid or plain if you share a link without saying anything. I cannot think of anything negative that could come out of you sharing my blog. No one is going to laugh. No one will negatively judge you for sharing my blog. Just like you are uncomfortable saying anything, others probably won’t say anything as well.

They might read, maybe get inspired. Maybe they will even share my blog with their friends. Or maybe they will simply ignore, scroll down, not even see what you shared. Maybe because you did share, someone saw it, then they read my blog and got inspired. Maybe they had a bad day, and saw someone who had a worse day, so suddenly they’re not feeling so bad. Maybe someone who is reading my blog because of your simple act of kindness will have something to say. Something that will inspire me. How great will that be huh?! You didn’t have to say anything, but you were the connection. You brought me and this new reader together. And because of you we are all moving forward, towards something better, greater, happier. Think of you sharing as you voting for me to win the election (and by the way in this election you can vote many times). With your vote I will win. I will win, I will move forward, on to saving the world from evil, and it will be all thanks to you, thanks to your simple act of kindness. Please share my blog.

I’m home most of the day. It is what it is. I’m in a battle with cancer right now. There aren’t too many activities I can do or feel like doing outside these days. My body is very weak, it’s simply a part of the battle, a part of cancer.

Through this blog I’m in my way stepping out of the house, and when you share my blog, it’s like a person that I see outside too. Like another person in the movies to laugh with, or another person in the bar to high-five with when the 49ers score.

I know many people are afraid of this thing – cancer. I know many don’t know what to say or do. But I feel that sharing is easy. When you let your mind take you to thoughts like “what will my Facebook friends think about this post” you are missing the point. You are thinking about yourself, and forgetting your friend that is battling cancer.

I really can’t think of anything negative that can come out of it for you. Only positive. It’s you helping out another person who is battling cancer. You cannot take the meds and chemo for me (unless you want to lose hair and weight). But you can help me in my fight by sharing my blog. Who will make fun of you for sharing, for doing something so good, so positive?! Who will negatively judge you? No one! Don’t be afraid, don’t over think it, just share. Even if you don’t have time to read a post, you can still share it.

You can share a link and say absolutely nothing. Or if you want you can copy this: “this is my friend’s blog, he has cancer, and he is sharing his story with the world.” Or say something else. Maybe also ask your friends to share my blog with their friends. Maybe one of them will have something to say that will inspire me and all of us.

Please share my blog, thank you!

What else? Well not much has changed. My appetite has improved a bit, but not enough. I’m still losing weight, and I’m at a critical point where I cannot lose any more weight. My body is starting to go after my muscles. I’m still feeling weak. Still dealing with chronic pain. I have a CT this week after which I will know if the chemo pills that I've been taking for the past month are working.


  1. Ilan,
    Thank you for sharing yourself. I was moved by your story and saddened that more friends and family are't helping you share your words. I am only 'a friend of a friend' but I shared your blog with as many people as I could think of. I hope they 'visit' you and say hello.
    All any of us really want and need is to know that there are people in the world watching out for us. You are in my heart.

    1. Lauri,

      thanks for stopping by, your kinds words, and for sharing my blog. It seems I finally got through to people, I've been seen a lot of traffic since I've shared this post.

      all the best to you and your family

  2. Dear Ilan,
    Couldn't stop crying when i read your blog. I really do wish you and your family all the best.

    1. thank you for reading! sending back same wishes for you and your family.

  3. You Rock! Keep writing, feelings, experiences, ideas, dreams and thoughts . . . there are people who want to read your words, to understand a fellow human. This is what social media is! No one is forced to read anything on the internet, it is all about choice! I chose to read this blog, and I choose to share it! And here is my "HIGH FIVE" go niners!

    1. thank you for your support Kelly!! I will definitely keep writing and sharing. GO NINERS!!

  4. You are a great fighter and never give up!! many of those who successfully beat cancer and illness are those with a positive and strong attitude like yours!
    I would highly recommend a fantastic book called "The Garden of Emuna" by Rabbi shalom Arush and Lazer Brody, it's phenomenal and I think you'll really enjoy it!

    1. Thank you for your kind words Mitch! I check out this book and give it a chance. Thank you again!

  5. Hi Ilan,

    Reading your blog was very exciting.
    I hope your wish of spreading this blog will come true,
    eventually it is only depend on us the readers.

    I will share your blog.
    Wishing you all the best.

    Liad Livne

    1. Toda Liad!!
      It sure does help when people share the blog. It's a great feeling when people read.

      all the best to you too.

  6. אילן יקר שלי, יש שני מעגלי חיים. מעגל חיי השגרה, שבו חיים רוב בני האדם, אלא שלמזלם ואולי בעצם לא למזלם לפחות במאה הזאת? הם עוסקים במירוץ מטורף של הישגיות חומרית, מציאת חן פיזית, הכרה במעמדם החברתי וכולי, אבל בל נשלה את עצמנו, בסך הכול מדובר בטיוח, שבא מהפחד לגעת באמת הפנימית של עצם היותם מי ומה שהם. ובמובן העמוק ביותר בפחד שלהם מפני המוות. ויש מי שאיתרע מזלו, ואולי בעצם התמזל מזלו? והוא נולד במעגל השני, האחר, השונה, והוא נוגע במהות של עצם היותו פה בעומקים אחרים. ואולי הבקשה שלך פשוט גדולה מדי כי אנשים לא רוצים לצאת מה-"קומפורט זון" שלהם. מה שאתה מייצג עבורם היום, הקונוטציות של המילה "סרטן", קשה מדי לעיכול כי היא מחברת אותם אל פחדי המוות שלהם. וכל מה שרצית ילד מדהים שלי הוא ששני המעגלים ישיקו זה לזה לפחות בחלק מן הנקודות. ובעיקר רצית לספר שמעבר לכסות החיצונית יש אנשים מופלאים, וששני המעגלים יכלו להפרות אחד את השני ולגעת ברבדים עמוקים יותר. אני רוצה לצטט לך כמה דברים מתוך ספרו של ארווין יאלום " להביט בשמש" : "האמפתיה היא הכלי העוצמתי ביותר שיש לנו במאמצינו להתחבר אל אחרים. היא דבק החיבור האנושי והיא מאפשרת לנו להרגיש, ברמה עמוקה מה מרגיש אדם אחר"...."איננו יכולים להתחבר אלא אם כן אנו מוכנים להתמודד עם הפחדים המקבילים שלנו, להתחבר לאחר על בסיס משותף. הקרבת קורבן זה למען האחר היא תמציתו של מעשה חמלה אמפתי". אוהבת עד אין סוף ועוד, אימא

  7. Ilan!
    Ma Nishma?
    My name is Ben, I met you a long time ago, a few years back,
    Im wondering if I could have your adress, I have a gift to send to you!

    send it to

    thank you!
    May you have a full and speedy recovery Bezrat Hashem!
    G-d Bless you!