Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I am no one

One of the reasons I'm able to so freely open up and share my thoughts, feelings, and other things from my life that for some might seem very private is because I am no one.

I don't think there is anyone out there that is following everything I say, gathers all of that information I give away, and saves it on their computer so that one day they can make some clip or write an essay about me in order to humiliate and embarrass me. Again, I am no one.

I'm not Michael Jordan, I'm not President Obama, I'm not Meryl Streep, and I'm not Barbra Streisand. I'm not some famous politician, athlete, singer, or actor who needs to watch out for what they say (to not piss off a group of people which in turn could hurt their income). I am just Ilan, and I am no one.

Putting it very roughly, 1% of the people in this world love me, 1% hate me, and 98% don't even know who the hell I am and probably will never know.

And if (and that is a big if for me and most of us) one day I will become someone, then I could simply say that the guy back then who said and did all these things isn't who I am today (the future's today...). I'm not saying that what I'm sharing here on this blog is stupid. I'm speaking in general; about all of us. If one of us does actually became some important figure one day, we could simply and easily argue that like many, if not all of us, we've had our share of bad decisions, mistakes, partying days, and being a dumb 20 something year old. I'm not just speaking about when we were younger. Even later in life we will keep making mistakes, and we will never know everything about everything.

So what's this fear of sharing that is striking so many of us?! What is this phobia about privacy?!

What is this obsession so many of us have about pretending like we're someone else the minute we step out of our home (or in these social media days, how we choose to portray ourselves online)?!

I bet many of us, while sitting in a classroom, had a question, but were afraid to ask because we didn't want to sound stupid. So we didn't ask, and instead hoped that someone else will ask.

Do you really think someone out there is out to get you?! I don't think there is anyone out there that is out to get me, and you know why? Because I am no one!

Do you really think someone out there is so pathetic, has no life, and want to humiliate someone like me or you that no one really knows about?!

Even if there is such a person, when they finally finish their project, their silly master piece, the "humiliation of Johnny," I'm confident when I say that no one is going to care. And you know why? Well, because Johnny, like you and I, is no one.

So speak up, share your thoughts with people, and don't be afraid to say something stupid because we all have done that at one point or another.

"Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement"
- Henry Ford

In my last post I pleaded for people to share my blog. I want to thank all of you who did. I hope those who still have some difficulty doing so will be able to over come it. I have seen a great amount of traffic. Over 500 visits in the 24 hours following the publication of that post. I'd like to send a shout-out to some of my awesome supporters around the world in: Netherlands, Ukraine, China, Russia, Korea, and more. THANK YOU!!

I've seen my doctor yesterday and things are stable. This new chemo pills I'm on appear to be doing the trick for now. Unfortunately I'm still losing weight (I'm about 59kg or 130lb), so my doctor prescribed some appetite stimulant. I think it is doing the trick already since I've been hungry all day now, and have eaten more than usual. Also it looks like I'm moving back to Israel where I will be surrounded by more and very much needed family and friends.

Thank you again everyone for sharing, reading, and supporting. Happy holidays.


  1. Bh neshama. I agree and disagree with this. Everyone is no one that is to say that the world doesn't know Barbara Streisand they know if her or perhaps more accurately of her music. They don't know her fears her sorrows her deepest desires. If they think that interviews where journalists ask these questions provide actual truthful insight they are wrong. We are all more someone than famous people as while less people know of us the people that do actually know us. They know our essence what drives and stops us. Most of all their only incentive for knowing us is ourselves and not a fancy car or party.
    On another note thank G-D you're moving home!!! I hope to be able to soon as well.
    You should know that you are a strong and special light in this world and G-D should continue to bless and protect you. We don't know His ways and yet I have a strong feeling that your trials have all been for the sake of inspiring countless others. In this way you are a very important someone to many someone's who thought they were lonely no ones until you came along.
    Kol tuv

  2. I am just now subscribing to your blog and had just found it earlier this week through the NF community. I know what you mean in this post about blogging and not being sure if many people would care about what you would have to say. Blogging also seems these days to be a contest of making some life changing point in every single post or making the site look like a professional news site. I used to really enjoy blogging but I rarely blog these days myself because I kind of feel like it would just be "another mommy blog" Happy holidays and I look forward to your future posts.